lately i have been focusing to improve my English to get a scholarship. yeah, after years contemplating whether or not i applied to scholarship to pursue higher education, finally i convinced myself to applied to Australian award scholarship or usually called by aas. i haven't told anyone about this, because i was afraid to jinx it. but they will be announcing the result this month, month 7, so here it is, I'm ready to share my story.
first, i get stomachache just to think about how i started, haha. okay, i was searching for scholarship in mid march. it was late, i know, but the thought of going back to school came up pretty late, and i need time to think about it and to convinced myself that this is the best way for me, right now. therefore, mostly scholarship already close, but then, i found aas, and it still open until April 2021.
without thinking much, i registered myself at oasis website and filling the application. there's a lot of essay about what and why you choose your proposed study. it wasn't the kind of application you can fill in a day or two. it took me three weeks to finished my application. interestingly, the more i thing about my application and the reasons, the more it appealed to me. before i finish my application, i already want the scholarship so bad and planning ahead about what i am gonna do after i graduated.
i get absorb to the idea that i will going back to college and have the opportunity to explore international culture in Australia and what i can do after, which is become guidance counselor. yeah, i decided to get master in counseling and become school / guidance counselor. when i write the application, i still want to be psychologist, unfortunately my grade wasn't enough to pass the master clinical psychology passing grade, so i re think about my decision and looked up at job portal website, look for what kind of career i want in the future.
as i say, the more i find out about guidance counselor and think about the reasons, the more i love the idea it self. i mean, i always want to be psychologist because i want to help people. become guidance counselor allow me to help people as well. finally i can find a professional job where i can make money, build a career and also help people at the same time. it feels like I'm in heaven. even though i still don't know if i will get accepted or not, lol.
then again, the idea really excite me. i cant stop thinking about it and before i know it, i already googled everything about how to live in Queensland, Australia. i watched every vlog in YouTube about it, and make notes with it. i even looked for the accommodation! oh my god, i know how crazy it is, because there is still a possibility that I'm not get the scholarship.
these past two weeks, it's been hell for me. if i went over the moon when i applied, i went crazy this past couple of weeks. the thought that i don't get in come to me, even when i sleep. but on the other side, it gave me time to realize the possibility and came up with a new plan. i still wish, hope, and pray to god for me to get in, but i also thank god for those weeks where i have been dreaming about what i can do if i get in.
huufttt... finger cross.
please god, let me live my dream. please.
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