When I was doing online dating challenge, I came a crossed a guy, who said that he wanted to be my boyfriend. I was taken aback when I heard that, because I don’t take boyfriend things lightly. I mean, boyfriend means relationship, and sex means sex, what do you think? who’s with me here? I, personally think, that you don’t have to be in relationship to get sex. If guy can go out to the bar or club to pick up women, so do we, right?
Boyfriend seems… serious.
So I told him, that he should slow down. Let’s talk and getting to know each other first, then we go from there. He agreed. So we exchanged number, and texted. And after a while, I know what he meant with boyfriend. Let me explained some dating culture in Indonesia first. In Indonesia, free sex, one night stand, etc is not common things to happen, and people don’t really talk about it, but actually, most of people do those things all the time. Many cities in Indonesia, where condom has the highest purchase rate. For some people, sex still taboo things to say and there is some people who can’t accept that sex is take part in relationship. For younger people, doing sex with your boyfriend is common thing to do. This become controversial things here, in Indonesia. I guess that’s why not many people talk about it.
There is some people, that believe that you can’t have sex with random people, but you can do it with your boyfriend. And for some people, we acknowledge and embrace the fact that, sex, even though many people said it’s inappropriate and not our culture blablabla, is happening in our culture. Take my friend for example, she looveess doing one night stand with some random guy she run into. And there are guys who loves doing that, so I stand corrected, people are just don’t talk about those sex things. Sometime we were sitting in a bar, looking for some hot guy, or we run into some hot guy at the mall who said hi and ask for our number. It’s seldom, but there’s some people who does that. Sometimes they only want sex, some of them surprisingly nice and genuinely attracted to you.
Well, I can’t say for others, but as I see it, there’s plenty people in Indonesia who is not separate between sex and relationship. Soo.. after I few chat with this guy, it kind of obvious that he’s looking for sex, but he said he wanted to be my boyfriend (maybe) because he thought, if he became my boyfriend he’s going to get sex regularly. He won’t answered when I confront him, but he implied these things.
I played along. We talk about our job, what he likes to do sexually, and what I like, those sort of things. Then, he became pushy. I told him I never do anal, because he claimed that he never do anal either, (which I guess he were lying), and suddenly he said he want us to do anal. He said that would be fun and I have to agree, because when he’ll be my my boyfriend I have to do everything he said. And I was like, WHAATT?? Who do this guy think he is, really.
Then, I said something that apparently made him angry.
I said, “you know that you have to make me like you first before you can become my boyfriend, rite?”
He replied, “lol. Do you think it’s something to be bought from the shop and give it to you?”
When I asked him what he meant by that replied, he said to let it go and asked me to do some sexting. It’s become clear to me what kind of a guy he is, when he said that. Somehow, that kind of respond offended me.
Let’s look what happened here, once again.
We met on online dating app, chat a little bit, and this weird guy, which I barely know, said he wanted to be my boyfriend. Like it wasn’t weird enough, when I become nice and said, let’s talk more, he keep bringing up about sexual thing he wants to doing to or with me, when we met, and he assumed he’ll become my boyfriend immediately.
Personally, I do think that we can choose any guy we like to become our boyfriend. We go out, chose who we like, dating for a while, and if we like each other enough to have commitment, then you walk into relationship. Why would I date someone I don’t like or attracted to? Why would I date someone who doesn’t give me butterflies or whatever that called is? Am I wrong about thinking like that?
If guy can treat us women like we some sort of object, giving score about how big our boobs or ass are, rating us based on how we look or how great we are, why we can’t do the same thing?? We both human who wants to have fun, we want to jump into fun games for two, some of us look for fun while some of us look for something serious and nothing is wrong with that.
Nothing. Is. Wrong. With. That.
What do you think? Anyone as offended as me about this thing? Or am I wrong about thinking that we, women have as much as man’s right to choose who we’re dating?
