two years ago, i pray to god to let me meet a man who can give me butterfly in stomach. who can make me feel beautiful feelings called falling in love. i wanted to be falling in love with someone. he doesn't have to be mr right or the one I'm going to marry. i just wanted to feel in love again. so, i pray to god, i asked him to let me fall in love. he doesn't have to be hot, rich, or handsome, or charming, or even like me back. i just... want to be this stupid girl who do stupid things a girl do when she's falling in love, like when we were in school. and god, it will be nice if he reciprocate my feelings, i added in my prayer at that time.
few months later, i met this barista, my crush.
what happened was so funny, complicated, and beautiful at the same time, i wrote journal about it. i know that sometimes this moment will dissapear and i dont want to forget any of these things that happened. so i wrote journal about it. about him. but the thing is, god give me exactly what i asked. and i forget to ask that it will be easy and come naturally and i can call him mine. lol :p
funny thing is, i realized a little bit too late that i was in love with this guy.
he is not handsome, not hot, so far from charming and being gentlemen, but i fell for him. i did all those stupid things to make him smile and when i realized that he does it too, it was too late. i was a mess back then, so i wasnt sure about my feelings for him. when people say there's something between us, i got angry and then cry. because what happened, it wasnt like that. at all.
now, after everything that happened in my life and all those heartbroken nights, i almost ask the same thing to god. again. because, come on, who doesnt like being in love? everything taste better, see better, and feel better. i want t feel like that again. but this time, i want to feel like that with my mr right. i want to meet the one who wants to build family with me. i want to meet my mr right.
what if i meet him again?
well, i consider him as a friend, so i will say hi like a friend. i cant speak for him because i dont know his feelings or his thought, but i think it will be nice if we can sit together and laugh about the old days, like friends. me personally, never want to forget anything, if we can be friends, why not? it's all in the past anyway.
