this year, covid came and ruined everything.
many times I wanted to write this blog, about how i was feeling, my situation, lockdown situation in Indonesia, how it was living with my family 24/7 because now we do not have anywhere to go, how my mind was running wild about recession, how my insomnia make me think so much, about this project I have been doing since march, and how much I spent time in front of google, learning something, but here's the catch; i can not do it.
at march, Jakarta, where I live, was I lockdown, and since then, I can not write a single thing. not even my feelings. every time I opened up my laptop, ready to write, my mind goes blank. and so does my feelings. so, I decided to put away this blog for a while, and not write anything. my mind almost goes crazy in this covid lockdown situation with there are so many things going on. there's so many things in my mind, but I can not write them down. writing, as you all know, is one of my favorite outlet to express my feelings and my mind, so I guess its safe to say, that I almost get crazy in frustration.
lucky for me, I'm not crazy, yet, aahhaa. I can sit here now, write this down, and tell you my story. its going to be a lot, because its story about the whole year, but maybe it's not. okay, lets try.
I finished my story about the barista, my crush, if you remember. there were so many interesting story, so I decided to write a book about it. a chapter in my life story. it turns out great, but.. I haven't have the gut to sent it to publisher. maybe later, I don't know.
after that, around April, I get this idea with one of my crazy friend, about this project. we are going to open our own business. its a lot. a lot to take in, a lot to sink in, and a lot to learn about. she was in business major, but I am not. so I need to learn about everything, fast. so I did. after that, comes brain storming session, where I almost lost my voice in frustration because I yelled too much, I think, and i need to learn some more. then we talk about the concept, marketing plan, and etc, etc. blablabla. anyway, if everything's goes well, we are ready to launching it next year, I hope we will.
I also learn about meditation, stocks, insurance, home installments, you know, the adult stuffs. the stuffs that you know its exist and it's annoyed you, but you don't understand it too well to be bothered by it, but you have to know it otherwise... yeah, i finally learn that stuffs. its exhausted, but i learned it. so.. yeah. i agree that adulthood pretty much sucks. but i also love this adulthood things.
I also have the time to upgrade myself with those free webinars, and ig live, and few of masterclass, and it feels amazing. I also learn meditate, about awareness and being mindful, and I can feel there's so many hates, big disappointments, and sadness in myself. I don't like that, and its work in progress, but lets wish for the best, shall we?
and BUUMM!!!!
suddenly, we at the end of the year. this year I cried a lot. I learned a lot. I yelled a little bit to much. and I cried a lot. so many tears this year, it make me miss 2018, where there was more laughter and love. but life goes on, right? we can't go back in time, we can't stop the time, we just gotta move forward. make memories, do something, enjoy. the memories are still gonna be there. to be look upon, from time to time. to be reminisce, but not to living it.
so, how about you?
what have you've done, this year?
what new skill you unlock this year?
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