When I looked back to the whole year, it almost seems too many black and grey. Moreover, when I look into this blog. My life was full of surprises, challenges, laughs, like my life is full with color. then 2020 come, and bum! my life turns to greys.
In 2020...
I didn't go anywhere, obviously. I didn't meet with friends. I don't have any new picture of me, and friends, or any new pictures about anything. My life is stuck at home. With a bunch of work and projects and I tried to stay productive with learning something new once in a while... But still, at the end of the day, it feels blank. It feels I was alone.
I am alone.
And its devastating. The thoughts running through my mind, the rush of emotions... And then, nothing. It was me, still me. Here, alone. I know I tried my best with working on with myself. I had a good time, long deep talk with myself, but somehow it wasn't enough. I need more. I want more.
Then one day, it hit me.
It feels like I'm losing gratitude of those little things. Just because my life color is grey now. Doesn't mean I don't have little things to be grateful about. Like, I'm still alive. I'm still breathing just fine, eat good delicious food everyday. I live under a roof and sleep on bed everyday. And that, and those other things such I can think clearly and writing this post on my phone, should be enough.
They should be enough for me to be grateful
They should be enough to count as blessings.
They should be enough to be thanks for.
They should be enough to live for.
And dear god, thank you.
please forgive me, who forget to be grateful,
About those little things you gave me.
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